Post Boston Thoughts

Here are my two cents on the tragedy that happened at the Boston Marathon 2013.
I was very excited when I qualified for Boston and was consequently able to still grab a slot for 2013.  It came with the nice benefit of punching my ticket for 2014 but I wasn't worried about that just yet.  I went about my training but with a focus on Comrades 2013.  Along the way, I made a stop in New Orleans in late February 2013 for the Rock and Roll marathon.  It turned out to be a popular stop as Kara Goucher and Shalane Flanagan were there and I got to meet Mo Farah who ran too.  They all ran the half but I ran the full. It was an amazing run for me. I approached it as a catered training run.  It was the second of six 26.2+ I would do over the next 7 weeks. I had set a time goal and just relaxed about hitting that goal and ran by feel. In what I would say was amazing is that I ended up running a new PR by 3 seconds and (in my mind) truly punching my ticket for Boston 2014.

I kept up that volume and made it to Boston feeling good.  As it was my first experience running Boston, I wasn't sure what to expect. I had read most everything I could get my hands on to prep for the race. Mentally I knew I was ready.
The day started a bit chilly but the temps were just about perfect by race time. I had planned on shedding layers during the run but stripped down to shorts and top at the start. I started off nice and easy and accelerated nicely through the first 4 miles and then held pace for almost the whole race. I even split Boston. Something a lot people, even professionals, have difficulty. I managed to drop almost eight minutes off my qualifying time. I was ecstatic. I ran what was close to a perfect race. So much better than my qualifying race at Twin Cities. The joy was obvious on my face. Annika was equally excited and amazed by my performance. She had run a great 5k the day before. We had a successful weekend of racing. We were both very happy.

Then we got back to the hotel and our phones lit up with news of explosions at the finish line. We were shocked and dumbfounded. Our minds could not get wrapped around this news. We flipped on the TV and were mesmerized for the next couple hours. It was enough to keep me from showering for a couple hours; it was that spellbinding.
After it started sinking in we were beginning to feel as though the brothers stole our experience. We could no longer jump for joy at our performances out of reverence for those who were hurt or killed. We decided to still celebrate but much more low key.  We also felt out of sorts. The actions kept repeating in our heads and we kept playing the what if game.

How do you move on from there? Supporting the efforts is one way. I have done my #runforboston a couple times. I contributed to the One Fund. I realize there are people more impacted in more direct ways but how do I get back what I lost? It is not in my nature to demand revenge though I have to admit to having had the thought. The brothers took something from me that cannot be returned.
It is with this that I remember, I must forgive those who wrong me as tough as it may be. And part of that is moving on. I can remember and let them receive the consequences of their actions but I cannot let revenge be the factor that motivates me.
I most likely will run Boston 2014 but if I was asked to give up my slot for a runner who was unable to finish this year, I would gladly do it.